LEAVE YOURSELF IN FRONT OF YOURSELF
Think of it like this; You want to realize something very much in your life, but somehow it does not happen or you cannot reach that final goal you want. Who knows, maybe you keep making the same plan and expect the results to be different. Without being aware of it, every week, you are always caught in the same cycle, condemning yourself to live below your potential.
You regret your dreams that you could not fulfill, but you cannot move because of your limiting habits. In fact, you know what you have to do to reach freedom, but you cannot do it or you are lazy. Then your anger with yourself increases so much; you are almost sabotaging yourself.
So what does it mean to self-sabotage?
I am not good enough to achieve this, I do not deserve to be loved, nobody wants me or what I do, anyway, if I feel good it will definitely be a bad thing, I wish I was more beautiful ...
Here are some of the "self-sabotage" sentences ...
Self-handicapping is actually a concept well-known to behavioral sciences, psychology and sociology. It is a kind of "a situation where one's self-esteem is reduced and self-realization is prevented due to negative internal speeches made to himself."
This concept was first defined by Berglas and Jones in 1978 as follows: "Although an individual has the capacity to fulfill a job or a task, it is uncertain that he can do the job in question and an attempt to justify himself by finding excuses that he is not capable."
It's actually a mood that's no stranger to the average person.
Self-handicapping can sometimes be a defense mechanism that people resort to in order to protect their self when they doubt they can achieve it.
People who use the self-handicapping mechanism tend to attribute the failures that arise as a result of their performance to problems in their performance rather than their abilities.
Scientific data describe two types of self-handicapping:
The first of these is "behavioral self-handicapping",
The second is "verbal / self-reported self-handicapping".
Verbal self-handicapping means the verbal expression of more psychological symptoms such as fear, anxiety, exhaustion, stress, excessive excitement, and panic attacks before the action.
Behavioral sabotage includes behaviors such as not working at the required level to be successful before the action, dealing with different agendas, tying the result to fate, showing physical symptoms, trying to carry out more than possible work together, alcohol-substance use. (Higgins et al. 1990, Hendrix and Hirt 2009).
Why do we sabotage ourselves?
The origin of the act of "self-sabotage" can be traced back to childhood. Some children may attempt to show themselves more talented and intelligent than they are in order to appear successful to their parents, to make them happy, to attract their attention, and to protect their self-worth. This tendency can turn into an act of self-handicapping over the years.
Self-confidence, self-worth, lack of belief, etc. lie behind the act of self-handicapping. The inability to cope with the emotions of the experienced situations can also be the reason for "self sabotage". So much so that people sometimes react unnecessarily to the situation and other people around, and they can increase the dose of sabotage by fueling the fire. Therefore, the person prevents himself / herself from reaching the goal. This may be due to the individual not feeling ready for the new situation that he / she can achieve, or internally thinking that he / she does not deserve or cannot achieve.
What are the ways to sabotage ourselves?
Scientific studies reveal that self-handicapping is often done unconsciously. One of the best books written on this subject is Petra Block's "MindFuck". According to Petra, no matter how educated, civilized and believing in contemporary values, the system of thought can still be authoritarian and oppressive. According to Petra, there are different ways people can prevent themselves. As an example of these ways, "self-denial, keeping the vital interests of others above your own, trying to please everyone, suppressing oneself and others, making a habit of complaining to yourself and others by attaching values such as perfectionism and knowingness, obeying strict and arbitrary rules, and chronic distrust towards others ”. Behavior and thought patterns such as constantly postponing things and self-pity are among the methods of self-sabotage.
Dr. Studies by Jason Plasis and social psychologist Kristen Stecher show that some people are overwhelmed by their achievements and in fact feel limited by their own capacities and are stunned by their own success. This situation increases the pressure on them in their later life and sometimes causes them to sabotage themselves by not carrying this heavy burden.
Some researchers argue that there is a relationship between "resistance syndrome" and "self sabotage", which is defined as the condition of ensuring the safety of the human being and not getting out of the life cycle that is used and safe. According to this view, when people need to go beyond the cycle they are used to, they can self-sabotage themselves in order to prevent this and contribute to the establishment of the resistance syndrome. As a result, there is no disappointment or regret due to unmet needs and expectations.
In the psychology literature, "fear of failure", "perfectionism", "taking risks" and "making mistakes" are also considered within the concept of self-handicapping. It is not possible to disagree with this determination by researchers named Elliot and Thrash. "Because of the fear of making mistakes, people postpone the preparation for various situations, they try to protect themselves from the feeling of shame that they will experience as a result of failure by creating negative outcomes."
How can we prevent ourselves from sabotaging ourselves in daily life?
The concept of self-efficacy in order to be protected from acts of "self-sabotage", that is, positive self-perception of the human being; Self-related traits such as self-esteem gain importance. This concept, Dr. As emphasized by Pajares, it includes being optimistic in the face of difficulties, striving with perseverance, and behaviors that emerge while trying (1996).
Parents and their relationships with them are important in developing self-efficacy perception from childhood. The quality of parent-child interaction in self-development affects the individuals' quality of life and behavior patterns in the future (Kazemi et al.2014). Having self-esteem and self integrity reduces the risk of “self-sabotage” and strengthens the self-efficacy perception.
As a result, the essence is the strengthening of the self. Regardless of age group, it should always be remembered that the threats to failure and failure create opportunities for people to learn and develop. In unsuccessful situations, in order to protect the self, it is necessary to be able to face situations that cause failure instead of resorting to sabotage strategies. Trying to improve on these issues contributes to self-integrity. If you are sabotaging yourself, you should definitely get professional help by calling our professional support 05447243650.
Always keep in mind that the way to be more self-confident, happy, open to development and successful individuals in our business and private life is starting to retreat from you.
LEAVE YOURSELF IN FRONT OF YOURSELF...